Bloated Belching Becomes An Asspansion

I'm not supposed to drink this soda right now because it's on the "no no" list, but that's why I want it so bad! One soda, surely just one, can't be a problem? I'm on an all liquids diet right now, and this fizzy soda isn't a solid, so it shouldn't be a problem.....right? It's so fizzy that it tickles my tongue! I can feel the bubbles tickling all the way down into my belly where they rumble and almost immediately fizzle out burps that progressively get deeper. My waistline is tiny, but a few bubbles probably won't do anything noticeable, except they keep bloating. I'm sure if the burps cause belly distension from the gas inflation, that it won't cause any real problems with my specialized dietary needs. If my belly gets too tight, then I can just release the deep belches! Oh no......my belly has inflated, but now it seems my ass is expanding too! The gas from this soda has caused far more than non-stop burping. My belly has bloated more than noticeably, quickly looking heavily pregnant, but now my ass is definitely getting fatter too! Will it take more than belches to relieve my extremely bloated belly and jiggling ass fat? Twerking doesn't help beyond pushing out a few extra burps, but I'm looking at an expensive hospital visit if I can't dissolve this body inflation fast! I've got ideas, but it's going to take way more burps and belly shaking.