Sneezing, Coughing, Nose Blowing, and Lots Of Snot

I've had a really bad head cold for some time now, and it's left my body full of mucus. It is literally coming out of all of my orifices right now, but my nose and throat are the worst. The plague is BAD! It drenches everything it touches in snot! There are so many used tissues, at this point, that a small carpeting is quickly turning into a mountain of cooties. The germ pile grows, but my snot overflows! I cough, hack, sneeze, and struggle to mouth breathe because my nasal passages are inflamed so badly that they've swollen shut. There's no end to the contagion in sight. I've given up trying to fight it and just use tons of tissues, filling them with slimy and watery snot. Every tissue is saturated in boogers. I even cough a few deep barks that produce globs of yuck into a tissue. These new immunities are causing my low immune system to switch into flushmode completely! Who knows how many more days I'll live like a booger monster? No actual sneezes, but the constant drip and burn would feel better if I could! Instead my face just contorts in weird ways as I feel the edge of nothing but missed sneezes.